From the “Don’t Get it on ebay department”, An attorney representing the family of Nicole Brown Simpson accused eBay on Thursday of not moving quickly enough to yank auctions of “If I Did It,” O.J. Simpson’s hypothetically story of how he would have killed his ex-wife. Read It and Bid On Something Else

From the “Keystone Kops Department”, police officers in the Detroit suburb of Oakland drew their weapons on Daniel Beloungea of Pontiac, Michigan, shocked him with a high-voltage taser, hit him with a baton and wrestled him to the ground, then handcuffed him and put him in a police car because the idiots thought he was engaging in ‘criminal conduct’. He was having an epileptic seizure. Read It and Be Outraged

From the “Call for delivery next time department”, Two employees of the Boise, Idaho city owned ice skating rink have been fired for making a midnight fast-food run in a pair of Zambonis. Read It and Call In For Pizza

From the “Dog gone department”, Vivi the wayward whippet has joined the Central Park coyote, high-rise tiger, Harlem Meer caiman and Molly the fugitive feline in New York’s ever-growing pantheon of urban animal legends. Read It and Whippet

From the “What’s an okapi department”, The birth of an okapi — an endangered African animal that looks a little bit zebra, a little bit giraffe — was announced this week by an Illinois zoo. Read It and Wonder