From the “It runs in the family department”, Frank Agnello, the teenaged grandson of John Gotti, has been busted. Agnello, 16, was found with marijuana, OxyContin and morphine pills when authorities pulled him over on a Long Island road for failing to heed a stop sign. Read It and Be a Dapper Don

From the “Has-beens department”, Britney Spears is evidently so hard up for publicity she is resorting to flashing her ‘coochie’ at the paparazzi. There’s just something about ‘white trash chicks’ that turn some people on it seems. Read It and Look the Other Way

From the “Whose bright idea was this department”, An IHOP in Quincy, Mass has been asking customers for their driver’s license before seating them. This supposedly to cut down on deadbeats that eat and rush out without paying. Read It and Pay the Tab

From the “We thought it over department”, A Colorado subdivision has withdrawn its threat of $25 daily fines against a homeowner who put a Christmas wreath shaped like a peace sign on the front of her home. Read It and Smile

From the “Idiot Grinch department”, A public Christmas festival is no place for the Christmas story according to the city of Chicago. Say what? Read It and Don’t Go to Chicago, Ever Again

From the “Idiot fast food company department”, If McDonald’s gets its way, breaking out the mayo to garnish that favorite sandwich might be more than unhealthy. It could also violate a patent. What’s next a patent on butt wiping? Read It and Tell Mickey-D’s to Stick Their Patent in their McMuffin

From the “It’s time he faded-away department”, Democratic Sen. John Kerry, considering a second bid for the U.S. presidency, finished dead last in a poll on the likability of 20 top American political figures. Read It and Call It Quits

Also from the “It’s time he faded-away department”, President Bush, under pressure to change direction in Iraq, said Tuesday he will not be persuaded by any calls to withdraw American troops before the country is stabilized. Read It and Worry Some More

From the “Screw the taxpayers some more department”, When the U.S. government’s version of the United Way handed out hundreds of millions of dollars to charities last year, its largesse extended to more than 1,280 nonprofit organizations that collectively owe $36 million in taxes dating back as far as 1988. Read It and Audit the Bastards