From the “Above and beyond the call department”, A 45-year-old Florida man, Adrian J. Apgar, lost part of his left arm when an alligator attacked him early Wednesday morning, but he was alive after four sheriff’s deputies jumped into muddy water and pulled him from the reptile’s jaws. Read It and Applaud the Deputies

From the “Beware the preacher man department”, Doug Porter, a former pastor, has been accused of murdering an 85-year-old California man in a scheme to inherit his trust fund. Read It and Keep Your Inheritance Secret

From the “Has he lost his mind department”, Drew Gagnon, 37, of Mahopac, NY has been arrested on allegations that he broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor, apparently to harass the property owner. Read It and Be Thankful He Didn’t Get Your Goat

Also from the “Has he lost his mind department”, The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser’s clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress in his De Queen, Arkansas music store. Read It and Give the Idiot an ‘A’ for Effort and an ‘F’ for Brains

From the “What’s he smoking department”, A couple on trial for putting some of their 11 adopted children in cages are guilty only of loving them, a defense attorney said in his opening statement. Read It and Clean Out The Kids’ Cages

Also from the “What’s he smoking department”, The Bush administration wants North Korea’s attention, so like a scolding parent it’s trying to make it tougher for that country’s eccentric leader to buy iPods, plasma televisions and Segway electric scooters. Read It and Cherish Your iPod

From the “Welcome to the internet age department”, A dozen high school students, 11 girls and 1 boy, were expelled for an on-campus brawl over who got invited to a party, a fight school officials said was arranged on the social-networking hub MySpace.com Read It and Gimme My Space

From the “No Big Box Store Department”, The San Diego City Council just says “NO” to Wal-Mart in a move the Mayor threatens to veto and over which Wally-World hints it may sue. Read It and Roll Back or Over

From the “It must have been a really bad performance department”, Police arrested rapper Snoop Dogg on weapons and narcotics charges after his performance Tuesday on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.” Read It or Rap It – Your Choice