From the “People behaving badly department”, Martin Luther Jackson, 31, of Decatur, GA has been arrested after allegedly trying to force his estranged wife into an oven on Thanksgiving in front of their five children. Read It Until Throughly Done

From the “Gosh, was he lucky department”, A window washer working on a downtown Nashville high-rise building apparently fell asleep on the job, authorities say. Read It and Take A Nap

From the “Don’t Mess With Critters Department”, A killer whale that dragged a trainer underwater during a show at SeaWorld Adventure Park may be allowed to perform again despite past incidents stretching back to 1993. Read It and Get a Poodle Not a Whale

From the “Britney Spears goes nuts department”, Britney Spears is behaving more like her soon to be ex-husband, Kevin Federline, than a pop princess on the verge of a career comeback. Spears can’t seem to find her panties, or at least wear them anymore as her ‘crotch shots’ sweep the web. Read It and Cringe or Look the Other Way

From the “Say what? department”, School districts in Hartford, Conn.; Pueblo, Colo.; South Lake Tahoe, Calif.; and Wickenburg and Yuma, Ariz., are giving away vehicles this school year to reward kids for good attendance. Read It and Go Back To School

From the “I think we have a problem department”, A record 7 million people _ or one in every 32 American adults _ were behind bars, on probation or on parole by the end of last year, according to the Justice Department. Read It and Cop a Plea

From the “Birds of a feather department”, Though he’s lost many fans after being captured on video hurling racist epithets at a comedy club audience, Michael Richards has an ally: Mel Gibson. Read It and Clean Out the Bird Cage

From the “Oh well, he tried department”, A Wisconsin appeals court on Thursday rejected a lawsuit by a boy who wanted to compete on his high school’s girls’ gymnastics team. Read It and Take a Cold Shower

From the “Turn back the hands of time department”, 60 percent of Americans, the world’s biggest consumers of cosmetic surgery and anti-aging skincare, believe their 60′s are the new middle age. Read It and Delude Yourself

From the “Security, what security? department”, Thieves who broke into a Pennsylvania driver’s license center stole equipment to make fraudulent licenses and got away with computers containing personal information on more than 11,000 customers including Social Security numbers of 5,348. Read It and Hire a Security Guard

From the “Frat rats are really dumb department”, A group of frat rats admitted to stealing more than 10,000 copies of a University of North Carolina student newspaper with a lead story on hazing at the frat. Read It and Put Out Some Rat Traps