Today In The USA

A 42-year-old Elgin, Illinois mother, thus far unidentified, is being investigated for allegedly trying to reconcile her 13-year-old daughter with a former boyfriend by threatening to publish nude pictures of the boy on the Internet unless he contacted the girl.

The woman reportedly contacted the 13-year-old boy with phone calls, e-mails and thousands of text messages aimed at reuniting the young couple, all to no avail.

Supposedly when the woman’s efforts did not bear fruit, she allegedly resorted to the threats to publish the nudie pictures of her daughter’s ex-boyfriend on the Internet. Reportedly the boy sent the pictures to the girl’s cellphone when they were still a couple.

The woman could face charges of child pornography, intimidation and harassment as police have seized cameras, computers, cell phones and other items from the woman’s home and the private school where she is employed.

Reportedly the girl’s brother got into the act by threatening to go to the boy’s parents with the pictures unless the boy saw the girl twice a week.

Judging from the extremes to which this family allegedly goes to get a boyfriend for the girl, one has to wonder if she’s that homely or if Mom and brother are that “weird”…

Cops: Mom said she’d post boy’s nude pics

The Rev. Merton E. Parks, the pastor of Oswegatchie First Baptist Church, in Oswegatchie, New York has resigned from his job after being investigated for downloading child pornography.

St. Lawrence County Sheriff Kevin M. Wells was quoted as saying of his detectives interview with the reverend, “It is part of an ongoing investigation from some information we received.”

The pastor, who reportedly admits to downloading pornographic images of young teens, says he did nothing criminally wrong.

The Reverend Parks, who reportedly has been married for 36 years and has five children and says he has problems in the “get it up department”, was quoted as saying of the alleged child pornography, “It was some indiscretion on my part. There was no malicious intent. I was trying to help myself with a medical problem. I didn’t know they were illegal.”

Oddly enough, Reverend Parks has not been arrested for his “indiscretion”, at least not yet.

Which of course gives one cause to wonder what other crimes might be explained away as “indiscretions”….

“Yeah, judge I did take the money. But honest, I didn’t know it was a crime. By the way, did I mention that I go to church every once-in-a-while?”…

Pastor resigns in probe of porn

John C. Kmetz, 56, of Racine, Wisconsin has been charged with 29 counts of possession of child pornography after he allegedly offered investigators a most unique “daffynition” of child pornography.

It is alleged that during the course of a child pornography investigation, investigators asked Kmetz his definition of child pornography and Kmetz said that in his opinion they would be teenage girls under the age of 12 or 14 years of age.

Reportedly, Kmetz also said that as long as the girls had breasts they were not underage.

This in conjunction with Kmetz also allegedly telling officers that he had anywhere between 50 and 100 images of naked teenage girls that were 15 to 16 years of age on his computer.

To drive his point home, Kmetz in a written statement allegedly said “On my personal hard drive I would not consider 50 pictures of girls to be under age. I consider under age to be 12 years of age or 14 years of age.”

Cops say that on Kmetz’s hard drive they found numerous pictures of naked girls ranging in age from approximately 8 to 15-years-old, that the girls were posed in sexually explicit positions and that some images showed minor males and females engaged in intercourse.

Be sure and let us know how the “If they got boobs it ain’t kiddy porn” defense works out for ya’ John…

In the mean time, has anyone ever known of a teenage girl under 12-years-old?

Man charged with 29 counts of possession of child pornography