Today In The USA

John C. Kmetz, 56, of Racine, Wisconsin has been charged with 29 counts of possession of child pornography after he allegedly offered investigators a most unique “daffynition” of child pornography.

It is alleged that during the course of a child pornography investigation, investigators asked Kmetz his definition of child pornography and Kmetz said that in his opinion they would be teenage girls under the age of 12 or 14 years of age.

Reportedly, Kmetz also said that as long as the girls had breasts they were not underage.

This in conjunction with Kmetz also allegedly telling officers that he had anywhere between 50 and 100 images of naked teenage girls that were 15 to 16 years of age on his computer.

To drive his point home, Kmetz in a written statement allegedly said “On my personal hard drive I would not consider 50 pictures of girls to be under age. I consider under age to be 12 years of age or 14 years of age.”

Cops say that on Kmetz’s hard drive they found numerous pictures of naked girls ranging in age from approximately 8 to 15-years-old, that the girls were posed in sexually explicit positions and that some images showed minor males and females engaged in intercourse.

Be sure and let us know how the “If they got boobs it ain’t kiddy porn” defense works out for ya’ John…

In the mean time, has anyone ever known of a teenage girl under 12-years-old?

Man charged with 29 counts of possession of child pornography

Broderick Lloyd Laswell, an inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge at the Benton County, Arkansas Jail is suing the county saying that they are starving him.

Seems that Broderick weighed 413 pounds when he was jailed in September and has withered away to about 300 pounds and he is mighty pissed.

So much so that he’s suing for more food and hot food to boot.

The company that feeds jail inmates says that the jail meals average 3,000 calories a day which is at the high end of the 2,000 – 3,000 calorie daily intake recommended for normal people.

Evidently Ol’ Broderick needs more, lots more…

Read it at 300-pound Inmate Complains Ark. Jail Doesn’t Feed Him Well and realize some folks don’t understand when one is doing them a favor…

From the Darwin In Action Department:

(1) Man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say. Oddly enough it would appear this idiot survived, in spite of his best efforts. You can read it at Man accused of stealing hunting knives hidden in waistband trips, stabs self and remember when your Mom warned you about running with sharp objects…

(2) And in another outburst of Idaho craziness, a cat entered an electrical substation in Nampa, Idaho, snuggled up to a warm transformer and contacted a live circuit, causing a short that blew out nine feeder lines Monday afternoon according to Idaho Power officials. Needless to say, but we will anyhow, the poor cat was reduced to “crispy critter” status and will not be doing this anymore. Read it at Cat seeking warm spot blamed for Idaho blackout; it won’t do it again

(3) The Chinese, famous for supplying the world with “Cheap Shit From China”, is also at the forefront of producing green pigs and now glowing piglets. A fluorescent green Chinese pig has given birth to two piglets that share their mother’s transgenic characteristic after she mated with an ordinary pig. You can read it at Green pig gives birth to glowing piglets and wonder if how long it will before they are making bacon that cooks itself.