Today In The USA

Meet 44-year-old Joan Tuckruskye.

She’s the vice president of the Baldwin Middle School Parent-Teacher Association.

She’s also the PTA lady that allegedly got caught with a 13-year-old boy in the back of a Nissan Pathfinder behind Meadow Elementary School in Baldwin, New York last Friday night.

The cops say that when they approached the vehicle and tapped on the fogged up rear window of the SUV they could make out two figures inside, both of which were reportedly not clothed from the waist down.

When the cops starting asking questions of the boy he reportedly told them that he was 18-years-old.

Later he told them he was 15-years-old.

Ultimately it was revealed that he was only 13-years-old.

Whoopsy!

Thus far, Tuckruskye has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor which carries a maximum sentence of up to a year in jail.

Reportedly Nassau police are continuing to investigate whether Tuckruskye and the boy had sex, with the possibility of upgrading the misdemeanor charge.

Read it at Cops: Baldwin PTA mom found with boy, 13, in car and wonder if they will drum Ol’ Joan out of the PTA for this…

Jose Cruz, accused of felonious farting for passing gas at a cop, no longer faces a battery charge in West Virginia, where this sorta’ thing evidently happens from time to time.

The Kanawha County prosecutor’s office requested that the charge be dropped against Cruz who still faces driving under the influence and other charges.

Reportedly Cruz let the stinker after being refused permission to go to the restroom after being taken to the police station for a Breathalyzer test.

Hold your nose and read it at Battery charge dropped in flatulence case.

When I saw the headline “FAA suspends sleeping Hawaiian airline pilots” I thought that it had to be a joke of some kind.

Turns out it wasn’t a joke.

Captain Scott Oltman, 54, and First Officer Dillon Shepley, 24, who prior to being fired worked for Hawaii’s Go airline, have been suspended by the FAA for sleeping on the job and missing a landing at the airport at Hilo, Hawaii by 15 miles.

The National Transportation Safety Board had determined the two pilots fell asleep on the February 13 flight from Honolulu to Hilo, with 40 passengers on board.

After about a dozen attempts air traffic controllers managed to awaken the sleeping pilots and order them to reverse course and land at Hilo International Airport.

The FAA says that the two pilots have completed their suspensions but the FAA spokesperson does not know whether they are flying again with a different carrier.

So…

Next time you board an aircraft you might want to ask for the names of the pilot and first officer and just to be on the safe side, encourage your fellow passengers to make a lot of noise…