Today In The USA

The Oklahoma Supreme Court has finally got around to disbarring former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, aka “The Masturbating Judge”.

A jury found Thompson guilty of indecent exposure on allegations that he sat through trials, including murder cases, merrily pumping away on his penis pump, shaving his testicles and masturbating.

Thompson was sentenced to four years in prison, of which he did only 20 months, and was fined $40,000 for his whacking off in court. Thompson was until this disbarment action still able to practice law, although no one would likely want to stand near him in a courtroom.

What is so surprising is that it took so long for the Oklahoma Supreme Court to decide that disbarment was justified in Thompson’s case.

One might expect that a felony conviction on four counts of indecent exposure, four one-year prison sentences, 20 months served in state prison and registration as a sex offender are each in themselves pretty good cause for disbarment of an attorney which leaves one to wonder if the justices were themselves somehow distracted by things going on out of sight…

Anyhow, you can read all about it at Oklahoma Judge Who Used Sex Device in Court Disbarred

The cops in Prichard, Alabama probably should not claim to have “busted” Chavis Sanders, 22, and David Bailey, 24.

The dynamic duo pretty much busted themselves.

To understand what we mean one need only realize that Sanders and Bailey showed up at police headquarters in a stolen car with a small bag of marijuana plainly visible on the car’s center console.

When one of the men rolled down one of the car’s windows and opened a door the cops KNEW but could hardly believe what was happening or their luck in having a crime scene complete with suspects delivered into their waiting arms.

Reportedly the scent of pot was so strong it took officers no time at all to zero in on the mother load.

Yep, the cops found a half-pound of marijuana and a gun under the seat of the stolen car of the dynamic duo.

Turns out that Prichard police arrested Sanders about two months ago on a drug distribution charge and confiscated $1,200 from him. At the time of his latest arrest Sanders was hoping to get the money back and he also reportedly wanted to check the status of a domestic violence case pending against him.

Both Sanders and Bailey were carted off to the Mobile County Metro Jail on charges of first-degree possession of marijuana, first-degree receiving stolen property and carrying a pistol without a permit. Bail for both men was set at $10,500…

Read it at Two arrested at city police headquarters and realize that neither of these guys is likely to have an IQ greater than their shoe size…

Jonesboro, Arkansas Police are reporting that a fake Santa attacked a Jonesboro family on Thursday night.

According to police, the fake Santa, who they identify as 33-year-old Steven Vaughn, the band director at Brookland High School, attacked the family of Kevin McGaughey, the Superintendent of Brookland Schools.

Allegedly Vaughn showed up at the McGaughey home dressed in a Santa Claus hat and beard, a red sweatshirt, black pants and gloves and lugging a green container.

When McGaughey answered the door the fake Santa is reported to have said, “I did not have a chance to bring you your Christmas present, so I brought it to you.” Which makes about as much sense as the rest of this story.

Reportedly McGaughey let the fake Santa into his home and that’s when the phony Claus whipped out a .22 caliber pistol and ordered the family to get onto the floor.

A fight broke out between the faux Santa and Kevin McGaughey and son Nathan. The McGaugheys eventually managed to get the gun away from the Santa run amok, but not before Kevin McGaughey had a vase smashed into his face and suffered some broken ribs.

When the cops arrived and looked inside the green container they found a five gallon gasoline can, lighter and trash bag. Police also reportedly found that Vaughn’s car had fake tags and contained a loaded 9 mm pistol and a couple of magazines of ammo.

Read it at Dressed Like Santa, Brookland Band Teacher Attacks Superintendent and if a deranged band director shows up at your house dressed as Santa you probably should not let him in…