Today In The USA

Toni Tramel of Owensboro, Kentucky was reportedly busted for public intoxication Thursday night. No big deal, as it’s likely hundreds if not thousands more around the county have that happen on any given day.

What sets Toni apart from the rest of the crowd of alleged drunks is something that allegedly happen during the booking process.

Tramel was sent into a room with a female jailer to change from her street clothes to jail clothes. That’s when things went weird real fast as it is alleged that while Tramel was changing into jail garb, she took off her bra, squeezed her breast and shot a stream of milk hitting the jailer in the face and the neck!

Now, as weird as it may sound, according to a press release, the officer was able to “decontaminate herself” and “clean the bio-hazard off her.”….

Now hold it…

Boobie milk is a bio-hazard that requires decontamination?

Since when, because millions of mothers are probably breaking this law daily by simply feeding their babies.

And over the course of history, lots of guys have paid good money for similar treatment?

What is this world coming to??

In any case, rather than a simple public drunk charge, Tramel is now facing a charge of third degree assault on a police officer with bond set at $10,000 and if convicted may be looking at some serious prison time.

But don’t take our word for it, you can read it at:

Milk Doesn’t Always Do a Body Good

Owensboro woman faces ‘breast milk’ assault charges

Breast milk attack: Inmate attacks deputy with breast milk

It must really suck to be Al Gore right about now.

Just as he was on the verge of getting his “carbon credits” business off to a world-wide start, along comes Climategate and suddenly folks are starting to actually question the religion of man-made global warming.

Then winter sets in and bitch-slaps Gore with what is shaping up as a record breaking round of really cold weather.

Here are but a few examples of news reports that pretty much gore, Al Gore, and in the you-know-where:

From ABC.com:

Hundreds Rescued as Heavy Snow Slams Britain

Cold Snap Gripping Gulf States Threatens Fla. Crop

From CBS.com:

Farmers Race to Save Crops amid Cold Snap

Cat Found Frozen Thaws, Survives

From MSNBC.com:

‘Florida is not supposed to be cold like this’

U.K. shivers through worst cold snap in decades

‘Icebox’ cold in eastern U.S. — even Florida

And then there’s this, also from MSNBC:

Deadly cold kills four
Jan. 6: As at least four deaths in Tennessee are being blamed on the extreme cold that is gripping most of the nation, forecasters are predicting another surge of frigid air will sweep much of the country later this week. NBC’s Janet Shamlian reports.

Yes, in Al Gore’s home state of Tennessee at least four people have frozen to death during the current cold wave.

Tragic deaths that might have been avoided had these unfortunate souls made it to Al Gore’s house where energy is consumed like air and the outdoor pool is heated nicely, even in the coldest of winters.

So while it must suck for Al Gore, watching as his cult of global warming business flounders, at least he can kick back in his heated pool while mere mortals freeze in the brutal cold of reality.

Phillip Seaton, 61, and his wife, Deborah Seaton, have sued Dr. John M. Patterson and Commonwealth Urology in Frankfort, Kentucky claiming that Dr. Patterson lopped off Seaton’s penis while supposedly doing a circumcision as a course of treatment for a medical condition.

The Seatons are also suing the anesthesiologist claiming that the gas passer used a general anesthesia in spite of Seaton’s request that he not do so.

We have no word on whether Mr. Seaton was given his severed member in a jar to take home.

Ouch!!!

Read it at Man Sues over Genital Amputation and watch out for anyone near your tallywhacker with a knife…