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	<title>Today In The USA</title>
	<link>http://todayintheusa.com</link>
	<description>We're Not Making This Stuff Up</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:57:06 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>Date My Daughter Or Else&#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A 42-year-old Elgin, Illinois mother, thus far unidentified, is being investigated for allegedly trying to reconcile her 13-year-old daughter with a former boyfriend by threatening to publish nude pictures of the boy on the Internet unless he contacted the girl.
The woman reportedly contacted the 13-year-old boy with phone calls, e-mails and thousands of text messages [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/10/08/date-my-daughter-or-else/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The &#8216;Got Religion&#8217; Defense</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Rev. Merton E. Parks, the pastor of Oswegatchie First Baptist Church, in Oswegatchie, New York  has resigned from his job after being investigated for downloading child pornography.
St. Lawrence County Sheriff Kevin M. Wells was quoted as saying of his detectives interview with the reverend, &#8220;It is part of an ongoing investigation from some [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/10/08/the-got-religion-defense/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>The &#8216;Got Boobs&#8217; Defense</title>
		<description><![CDATA[John C. Kmetz, 56, of Racine, Wisconsin has been charged with 29 counts of possession of child pornography after he allegedly offered investigators a most unique &#8220;daffynition&#8221; of child pornography.
It is alleged that during the course of a child pornography investigation, investigators asked Kmetz his definition of child pornography and Kmetz said that in his [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/10/08/the-got-boobs-defense/</link>
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		<title>Cops Go and Go Fast</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Early last Sunday morning, Pinellas County, Florida Deputy Sgt. John Daniels was working radar on the highway in a 45 mph zone when a 2007 Dodge Charger went charging by at about 100 mph.
Reportedly Sgt. Daniels falls in behind the speeder and sees the speeding car pass vehicles in a no-passing zone.
Eventually Sgt. Daniels catches [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/25/cops-go-and-go-fast/</link>
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		<title>I Ain&#8217;t Bleedin&#8217; Mamma</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Cops in Mankato, Minnesota have spent days searching for a woman supposedly shot during a disturbance at a birthday party on Sunday was not shot after all.
Turns out the &#8220;blood&#8221; was actually taco sauce.
According to the Mankato Free Press:
Witnesses had reported a woman was shot after Mohamed Ahmed Ali, 23, allegedly shot a gun during [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/25/i-aint-bleedin-mamma/</link>
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		<title>CSI It Ain&#8217;t</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Why am I not surprised that the Detroit Police crime lab has been shut down because of errors?
I mean after all, in a town where the mayor is at the center of a crime wave what is so surprising that the folks at the local crime lab are incompetent?
In any case, Detroit Mayor Ken Cockrel [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/25/csi-it-aint/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>The Fart Heard Around The World</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jose Cruz, accused of felonious farting for passing gas at a cop, no longer faces a battery charge in West Virginia, where this sorta&#8217; thing evidently happens from time to time.
The Kanawha County prosecutor&#8217;s office requested that the charge be dropped against Cruz who still faces driving under the influence and other charges.
Reportedly Cruz let [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/25/the-fart-heard-around-the-world/</link>
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		<title>Phillip Seaton Sues Over Penis</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Phillip Seaton, 61, and his wife, Deborah Seaton, have sued Dr. John M. Patterson and Commonwealth Urology in Frankfort, Kentucky claiming that Dr. Patterson lopped off Seaton&#8217;s penis while supposedly doing a  circumcision as a course of treatment for a medical condition.
The Seatons are also suing the anesthesiologist claiming that the gas passer used [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/25/phillip-seaton-sues-over-penis/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Sleeping Pilots Suspended</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When I saw the headline &#8220;FAA suspends sleeping Hawaiian airline pilots&#8221; I thought that it had to be a joke of some kind.
Turns out it wasn&#8217;t a joke.
Captain Scott Oltman, 54, and First Officer Dillon Shepley, 24, who prior to being fired worked for Hawaii&#8217;s Go airline, have been suspended by the FAA for sleeping [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/24/sleeping-pilots-suspended/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Masturbating Judge Disbarred</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Oklahoma Supreme Court has finally got around to disbarring former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, aka &#8220;The Masturbating Judge&#8221;.
A jury found Thompson guilty of indecent exposure on allegations that he sat through trials, including murder cases, merrily pumping away on his penis pump, shaving his testicles and masturbating.
Thompson was sentenced to four years [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://todayintheusa.com/2008/09/24/masturbating-judge-disbarred/</link>
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